Because nothing of value was coming through she had to wait until autumn to blog again. Jen Storer (aka Ellen Wildwood because that’s my Magical name)
I was looking for a quote to kick-off this post, dear reader.
But after flicking through my journals for AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES, I suddenly thought, fuck it. Why do we always look for outside validation?
Why not make up a quote? Why not quote myself?
That’s an act of faith.
That’s an act of bravery.
Patience is also an act of faith and bravery.
I haven’t blogged since last year because I’ve struggled to shape my thoughts. I’ve felt too passionate about too many things and the result has been…
(Is that a thing? It is now…)
This morning I was up before dawn, writing my morning pages by candlelight.
I looked at the date.
And realised it’s autumn!
With that realisation a stream of ideas poured forth.
I suddenly felt I had something to say. Something of value to share with you, dear reader.
I have, of late, been tapping back into my playful self.
She who loves colour and sparkle, LOUD HEAVY METAL MUSIC and gaudy clothes.
She who is rebellious, bold and mischievous.
My inner actor, punk, rebel.
She who represents one of my many unlived lives.
You know the ones?
We all have them.
We have all suppressed tender longings; huge swathes of ourselves are shoved in the bottom drawer so we can fit in, conform, get ahead (vomit), please SOMEONE.
We all have countless facets to our personalities but somewhere along the line we settle on one or two aspects, ‘develop’ those and..
forget the rest.
TIP: When writing in your journal, keep a set of watercolours close by. Then stuff like this can spill out. It will make you laugh. It will loosen you up. It will help you express your manifold self; the unlived YOU who longs to be seen and heard if only for a moment.
I bought a jumper at the op shop, yesterday.
With a white rabbit.
It’s really quite awful, isn’t it?
I cannot wait to wear it.
I’ll team it with some garish 80s jewellery, a flouncy skirt and my Doc Marten eight ups.
But alas it’s too hot today. Too hot to release my inner (and outer) rabbit…
Which brings me back to autumn and the idea at the crux of this post.
Ode to Autumn
This autumn let’s be more of who we truly are.
Let’s peel back a few layers.
After all, autumn is about shedding; about letting go of all that’s no longer useful.
It’s about being colourful, bold and expressive, too.
It’s also about embracing the bittersweet— allowing it’s melancholy cadences to nourish us.
Autumn is about gently and willingly releasing the old so that we can be renewed; so the worn out and tired might be recycled, regenerated, reborn into something richer, more complex.
Autumn is an alchemical process.
As autumn unfolds, I urge you to personify her, dear reader.
Paint or draw her in your journal.
Write her a poem or a few lines of praise.
Ponder her archetypal energies.
Absorb and celebrate her colour, her courage, her elegant yielding and the hope for regeneration she bestows on us all.
Let Autumn guide you deeper into yourself.
Wishing you all the gifts of another turning, dear reader.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for sharing the journey with me.
Until we meet again, stay safe, stay colourful, commit to your own unique unfolding.
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8 Replies to “Becoming more of who we really are”
I was worn out and tired, Jen, depleted by the heat of summer but I have placed my foot on the first stone paving the way to my rejuvenation. I love autumn and will follow your lead, wearing my favourite browns, russets, and golden glows. An enlightening journey ahead! Gretchen ♥
Oh, goodie! Adorn yourself in autumn, Gretchen! xo
This was just what I needed to read today. Thanks Jen.
My pleasure, lovely one! xo
I really love this post, how I have not come across you before?
I don’t know, Susanne! LOL! So happy you’re here now, though!
I love this post too much for words! (And that bunny jersey is so cute!) I’ve always loved wearing 103 colours at the same time — and patterns! — and as I’ve gotten older I’ve just embraced it. It’s such a gift to allow yourself to be true & happy & joyful. Sending you love, Jen!
More power to you, Hayley! x